"On Top of Things"

I think it might be time to give up. Yes. I think it would be better to give up. The coveted feeling I've been desperately grasping for, for, has it been 20 years? Yes! That coveted feeling of being "on top of it." I just want to feel "on top of things!"

Last time I felt on top of it, well, it must have been when I was 8 years old. I remember a distinct change after the age of 8. No more on top of it.

I've been trying to get back there since then, and I feel desperate, get so deflated when I don't. I just want to get on top of things. Like I know what's coming and I'm ready for it. Like I'm not missing the boat on some of my deadlines.

Yeah. I think it's time to give up. I'll probably be a lot happier. Perhaps it is simply not possible to be "on top of things" when there are so many things a person wants to do.

I need to redefine, cause...

We're happy. We're laughing. There have been no real catastrophes.

(Unless clipping the costco coupons and preparing for the big night of running errands then realizing all you've prepared for is now EXPIRED. Yesterday. Unless that's a catastrophe.)

Oh my. We have more work here than I had originally thought.

Perhaps let's start by redefining 'catastrophe.'