There's this amazing thing happening...

There's this amazing thing happening…

It's 11:19 PM. A late night for a mommy. I just got home from a fabulous dessert night out with a dear friend.

She's one of those people where you just feel privileged and kind of find yourself feeling, like, amazingly lucky that they would give you five minutes of their time, let alone their adoring and loyal friendship.

I adore her so much I find myself getting jealous she has any other friends besides me! Like, I want to be the funniest friend she ever had. I want her rolling on the floor with laughter every time we get together. And I want to fulfill the role of the most stylish friend she has, and best fashion-advice giver. I want to be the friend I am to her, a one in a million, which is the one she is to me, and I want to be everything! My natural self wants to be every woman and meet every need. Is this weird? But it's true. I have a total girl crush on my friend I adore.

But here's the amazing thing, and it must be what you might call "Turning 30". And I'm liking it.

I'm driving home and I'm saying,

'You know what? I'm okay with me. I'm okay with what I am to her. I'm one in a million to her. And we mean a lot to each other. We thank the heavens that we have found one another to share our lives with. And there's another friend out there somewhere that has her rolling on the floor with laughter every time. And another friend out there that's the best with fashion advice and favorite shopping companion. And a different friend out there who is her favorite to go to rock band concerts with. (hahaha I don't know? Maybe she has a secret love for Led Zeppelin?) And I'm like, I'm okay with that! I'm okay with me!

I like the role I fulfill for her. I don't have to be every woman! Someone else can be her rolling-on-the-floor-with-laughter-every-time entertainer. And someone else can be her absolute favorite to shake her Shakira hips with. I'm okay with who I am. And I value who I am to her.'

And I realize as I'm driving home that this feeling has been spilling over into other areas of my life. And I think it might be what I might call, "Turning 30".

I don't have to be the best newborn photographer in the county. I take pictures that I like and that express my artistic concepts and I'm okay with that. I'm okay with me.

I have been known to put out some funnies here and there, but someone else can fulfill the role of the comedian at the party. I can be the laugher! I'm okay with me.

I love my friends who inspire my fashionista. And they can continue to be more on top of it than me! I can be the follower here. I'm okay with me.

I want to record feelings, and take photos, to preserve memories and moments. I don't have to have the most followed blog or business in the town. I'm doing this for me. I'm okay with me.

I'm okay with me! I don't have to be EVERY WOMAN! I can be ME.

And so I'm getting okay with being just me. I'm learning to love being ME and giving up the need to be EVERYONE. And in that same breath I DO know where I want to thrive.

I DO want to be the best Daughter of God Candice can possibly be, every single day of my life, for the rest of my life.

I do want to be the best instrument in the Hands of God possible. At every moment of every day I want to be worthy to receive revelation when I'm needed.

I do want my husband to still want me after this life. I want to be the woman he wants at his side for forever.

I do want to be a hero to my kids. I want them to catch me reading my scriptures not just this year, but every year they live with me.

And so something amazing is happening. I am me. I am unique. Some things I am. Some things I'm not. And it's okay. I don't have to be everyone. I can be me. And this evolution is like a breaking free, a new birth, a new world as a person okay with being just one person: Me. I think it's what you might call Turning 30.

I'm okay with me. And I'm liking it.